Bereavement
by birthdaycake-storytime-fall
Summary: This is a one-shot about Jeff's daughter coming to Holby on the anniversary of Jeff's death. Sophia is classed as an OC because her personality was all my idea so she's different from how she was in the actual show.


1 year. It had been a whole year. Jeff Collier had been dead an entire year, but it already felt like an eternity.

After her day shift, which ended in 4 hours, Dixie Collier was planning to visit the cliff where she had thrown her husband's ashes. A small part of her, a wishful area of her mind, hoped that she'd wake up from this nightmare, but there was only so long that she could pretend that Jeff wasn't dead. Only 4 hours to last until she could leave work and have some freedom. Of course, she loved her job but it constantly reminded her of Jeff, who had been her best friend for many years.

Dixie and Iain were working together on the same shift that day and were supporting each other throughout the day, remembering how normal their lives had been a year and a day before. Dix had messaged Tamzin, Jeff's ex, to let her know the plans for Jeff's anniversary, that Mac and Iain would be going to cliff together and that Dix was going later on. Tamzin told Dix that she was living in London and that she would be working too much to visit Holby, although Dix was smart enough to know that the memories were probably too difficult for Tamzin to face; that is why she had moved from Holby after all.

Iain had just made strong coffees for himself and Dix as they were on their lunch break. They both sipped from their favourite mugs and sighed happily, the hot beverages being appreciated in the cold weather.

As Dix was sat with her back to the doors of the ambulance bay she did not see the young girl come in looking rather lost. Iain's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at seeing the girl; who appeared to be a teenager.

"Dix?" Iain questioned, pointing out of the window of the room that they were sat in.

Dix seemed unsure about what Iain was trying to say but she turned to see the tired-looking, skinny girl who looked confused and lost. Dix placed her mug on the coffee table and opened the door to greet the girl.

"Hello? Are you okay?" Dix queried.

"Err…I'm looking for someone. Dix Collier? I think." The girl asked, seeming quite scared.

"That's me. What are you here for?" Dix replied cautiously as she did not recognise the young girl before her and it was obvious that the teenager didn't recognise her either.

"Oh…err…I…I'm Sophia...Collier…Jeff's daughter." The girl stuttered anxiously.

Dix froze, unable to move or speak. The last she had heard from either of Jeff's children was when she saw his son, John, at the funeral. John had been to the funeral but left quickly afterwards, however Sophia had not been at the funeral at all, and Dixie had no idea why. Now Sophia was standing in front of her asking to see her, although Dix still had no idea why.

"Sophia?" Dix questioned, even though she knew that she had heard correctly.

"Err…yes." The teenager replied, seeing Iain finally emerge from the staffroom in the ambulance bay to find out what was going on.

Dix turned around, still struggling to process the current events. "This is Sophia, she's Jeff's daughter." Dix said, her voice wavering slightly.

"Oh, well, hello." Iain was shocked, although he had heard about Jeff's children before he had never spoken to either of them.

"Hey." Sophia said softly, waving slightly.

"So, what brings you here, Sophia?" Dix asked, leading her into the staffroom, although it wasn't technically aloud.

"Oh, err…I wanted to know where my dad is buried, so I can say goodbye. I couldn't make it to the funeral because I was in hospital at the time." Sophia said, still anxious but seeming to relax as she sat on the sofa next to Dixie.

"Oh, he wasn't buried. I released his ashes of a cliff on the edge of Holby that he loved the view from. I'll take you later." Dix said, hoping that she wasn't being rude or upsetting the girl.

"Okay, that's fine. Thank you." Sophia said, starting to talk at a normal volume as she relaxed.

"So, why were you in hospital?" Iain asked, feeling left out of the conversation as he was not a part of the family, although he was a very close friend do Dix and Jeff.

"I have depression and anorexia." Sophia replied, quieter again this time as she stared at her shoes.

"Oh, are you recovering?" Dix replied, the concern evident in her tone.

"Not really. It's difficult I guess, but my mum is really supportive so…" Sophia trailed off slowly.

"That's good." Dix replied, unsure whether it was the right answer.

"Yeah, sorry I shouldn't have come to find you at work, you're probably very busy." Sophia said, standing up to leave.

"If you still want to come later I'll be leaving work about 5pm." Dix said, hoping that she'd have someone to go and see Jeff with.

"Okay, sure." Sophia replied, leaving quickly.

Xxx

 _5pm_

Sophia went back to the ambulance bay after going for a walk around Holby, as she lived in London now and often missed Holby as she had grown up there before her parents got divorced. She had many happy memories of Holby from her earlier childhood, many involving her brother and her father, which made her smile sadly as she had lost contact with her father a long time ago and she barely saw her brother as she spent time in hospital and he had started college.

Dix's shift had been quiet for the last 20 minutes so she had already gotten changed into her causal clothes by the time that Sophia returned to visit.

"Iain and Mac went to the cliff earlier; they finished their shifts earlier than I did, so it's just going to be us." Dix mentioned, knowing that Sophia was obviously not going to start up a conversation with her any time soon.

The two females walked over to Dix's car, which was in the staff car park around the corner.

"So, err…sorry, I just don't know what to say." Sophia said, feeling very nervous around Dix because she didn't know her well.

"It's okay. I've never really been in a situation like this either." Dix said, knowing that her platonic ex-husbands daughter did not show up every day out of the blue asking to know where her father was buried.

They both got into the car and Dix decided to put the radio on to break the inevitable silence. It was clear that Sophia had anxiety that would have caused problems with getting to know new people; she thought about how hard it must be for Sophia to show up in Holby and ask to see her.

"So, I thought you lived in London? Since your parents divorced." Dix mentioned, wondering how Sophia got to Holby when there was obviously no-one else that came with her.

"I do, but I got the train up today. I go on trains a lot to go to other cities, but mainly Holby." Sophia replied quietly, not looking up to make eye contact with Dixie.

"Does your mum know about this?" Dix enquired, hoping that her step-daughter was not travelling around without her mum's knowledge.

"Yes, she gives me the money for the tickets. I usually don't go on rides that are more than an hour. Like I said, it's usually Holby and it's never really often." Sophia explained, knowing that Dix was concerned about her safety but Sophia was used to going to different places on her own as her mother trusted her, despite the fact she was only 15.

Xxx

The car ride hadn't been really awkward as Dixie had asked a few questions that weren't too nosey or intrusive. Sophia was more than comfortable talking about things in her life, such as memories of her dad when her parents had still been together and she also had a few funny stories from hospitals that she had been in for treatment for her anorexia.

The two females found that they had some things in common and that they got on well with each other after talking for a short time together.

Dix parked the car on the cliff, but not too close to the edge as she unfastened her seatbelt. She looked over to Sophia, who was not moving at all.

"Sophia?" Dix questioned the strange behaviour of the teenage girl beside her. Dixie tapped the girls arm, causing a reaction.

Sophia shook her head slowly. "I can't do this." Sophia whispered, almost too quiet for Dixie to hear what she had said. There were tears in the young girl's eyes as her breathing became more difficult with the tight feeling in her chest.

"Sophia? It's okay darling. You're having a panic attack but I'm here with you. Can you try to slow you're breathing for me?" Dix spoke calmly to try to get Sophia to relax to bring her out of the panic attack, although she knew that it wasn't always as simple as that.

X

Sophia's panic attack had lasted nearly 5 minutes but she had eventually calmed down with help from Dix. She still felt very unsure and nervous about the situation but she knew that she had to do it, if not for her then for her dad.

Dixie and Sophia got out of the car and walked slowly to the edge of the cliff, but not the very end as the wind was quite strong and they didn't want any serious accidents to happen. Sophia sat down; already exhausted to Dixie decided to sit with her, glad that the grass wasn't wet as it had been surprisingly sunny recently.

"You don't have to sit down if you want; I just get tired easily because of the eating disorder so…yeah." Sophia explained, feeling as though Dix felt that she had to sit down because of her.

"It's fine, I don't mind sitting down." Dixie replied, glad that she was letting her legs have a rest after walking, running, and driving around the city all day.

"Your dad loved coming up here, it was his favourite thinking spot." Dix explained, breaking the comfortable silence.

"I can see why, it's a calm place and quiet too." Sophia replied; she had always enjoyed being away from people, especially crowds of people in cities.

Dixie nodded, knowing that no response was needed.

They sat for hours, sometimes talking but sometimes in a pleasant silence when nothing needed to be said. They talked about Jeff's life, as a father and as a paramedic. Dixie told funny stories, skipping all of the sad or upsetting stories so that she didn't have to think about any of those times. Sophia told stories of what she remembered when her parents were together, before she moved away with her brother and her mum.

It was nearing 7pm and Sophia knew that she should be getting to the train station to go home. "Dix, could you take me to the train station please? I should be getting back."

"Yeah." Dix replied, hoping that her mum wasn't going to be too worried or angry.

X

"Keep in touch, please. If you're in Holby we'll see if we can meet up again, yeah?" Dixie said as Sophia was getting on her train in about 10 minutes.

"Yes, thank you for today. I enjoyed it." Sophia replied, glad that she had been able to spend some time with Dix and talk about her father.

"That's okay, thank you for finding me. Stay safe." Dix felt very protective of the young girl, knowing that the past few years had been difficult for the teenager as she suffered with mental health issues with affected her school life and all of her relationships with other people.

"I will. Goodbye." As Sophia walked away towards her train Dix felt tears well up in her eyes, after she had begun to feel close to Sophia over the past couple of hours. She hoped that this was only the beginning of a good friendship with Jeff's daughter.

 **This is kind of long, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. I've had this idea for a short while but I thought that the anniversary episode of Jeff's death would be a good time to write and upload the story.**

 **I'm basically taking a break from writing for a short while as I feel that I am neglecting both my school work and mental health. I may upload the odd one-shot and a few chapters here and there but it won't be the same almost-weekly updates of New Beginnings that it had been before.**

 **Please read and review and I'm always here to talk to anyone if you need help with something or if you just want someone to talk to.**

 **Tumblr: ruby-unicorn-with-100-boobs**

 **Twitter: Depressed123abc**


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